In a message I received from the universe 2 words boldly stood out. Persistence (check) patience (ummmmm...not so much). I mean (insert cough) I am cultivating patience with loving kindness. My meditation practice has never really been solid. I feel as if I am impatient with the practice. I spoke to a friend who said something that really brought light to my meditation practice. She simply asked "When you meditate (pray) do you receive love into your heart from the divine?" Hmmmmmm...do I? Am I too focused on not thinking and therefore not fully utilizing this time to receive love into my heart? What doorways (thanks Jen) would open to grace if I brought my awareness to my heart?
This week I am taking the opportunity to practice solely receiving love into my heart. What does this look like for you?
She also mentioned with all that you read - no wonder your confused (insert laugh)! So per my quote a couple of post ago it's time to set the book down and do the work...
August 16, 2011
August 8, 2011
Support Beams
I woke up this morning feeling tired and unmotivated. As the alarm sounded, I rolled (literally) out of bed. My feet hit the floor and immediately my mind was rattling off all of the reasons why I should not be up at this time. I mean most people in there right mind are asleep (inner dialogue is so skewed). The only reason my feet kept moving was a group of friends that were waiting for me at the track. This amazingly fantastic group of women who make me laugh, get me fired up and help me get through the run. Today was no exception they brought it. What you may ask - everything I needed to get through. The topic of conversation was bleak and well depressing but the fire and passion with which each of us spoke was inspiring. I didn't feel alone in my frustration of how things are run in this country. (so not going to get political here). I digress but it's important to note that I watched a documentary that had my dark side on fire. What in the hay does that have to do with yoga...ahemmmmm & randomness :).
Funny enough I went to a new never tried yoga teacher today (such a gift) with a close friend who just moved here (yay) and the message was freedom. Crazier, just before class, due to aforementioned documentary I mentioned to my friend feeling like my hands are tied and then the message. The message sent at such an important time...let go...surrender... embrace freedom! Could not have been more clear if it hit me in the head.
I am grateful for the documentary intellectually stimulating and lighting my fire, I am more grateful to the women who inspire me to get up and run. I am also soooooo grateful for the practice that sends me messages that quench said fire. Oh and I cannot forget I am most grateful to my husband who came to the class I taught tonight and inspired me to smile allowing me to feel the support beams beneath me.
How do you feel supported, inspired, fired up?
Funny enough I went to a new never tried yoga teacher today (such a gift) with a close friend who just moved here (yay) and the message was freedom. Crazier, just before class, due to aforementioned documentary I mentioned to my friend feeling like my hands are tied and then the message. The message sent at such an important time...let go...surrender... embrace freedom! Could not have been more clear if it hit me in the head.
I am grateful for the documentary intellectually stimulating and lighting my fire, I am more grateful to the women who inspire me to get up and run. I am also soooooo grateful for the practice that sends me messages that quench said fire. Oh and I cannot forget I am most grateful to my husband who came to the class I taught tonight and inspired me to smile allowing me to feel the support beams beneath me.
How do you feel supported, inspired, fired up?
August 3, 2011
Ask & You Shall Receive
Last week I spoke about the yoga sutra that says cultivate your practice (defining this the same way I define the mat - see side bar) over and extended period of time. So strange how sometimes you say the words in hopes that they will sink in and actually come to fruition. As I went to immersion yoga training this past weekend I brought that seed (intention) with me. Let it be said, At these trainings I am surrounded by amazingly talented yogi's who flow from a state of grace and inspire such "awesomeness" (forgive the word I couldn't find a word that would even resemble a description close enough) it makes it feel as if anything is possible. We entered into a pose I had thought not possible in this body and low and behold my partner said "your foot is right there - grab it". I'm sorry did you say my foot is right there?...ahhhhhh ahhhhhh ahhhhh (little mermaid ariel style!). My foot was not only there for me to grab but it was freely given without struggle, pain or ego reaching. If I have lost you with the foot scenario it's like something you have been cultivating maybe running a certain distance or cleaning up your diet or sitting silently for your self enters into your life freely without strings attached in a way that feels easy.
I have such gratitude for the people (gifts) in my life. I have met some inspiring new friends who ignite an auspicious fire within me. Who encourage and push me to aim higher with levity. The people who have been here all along inspire new love, encouragement and support. These loving gifts in my life ask hard questions so that I can cleanse the habitual patterns that no longer serve me and free myself from left over scar tissue of the past that bring about darkness. They give me water, enriched soil, sun and shade optimal for blooming. I continue to cultivate my practice over an extended period of time letting it unfold as it may and thoroughly enjoying the gifts it continues to shower.
What gifts are present in your life? What are you asking for? What seeds are you planting?
I have such gratitude for the people (gifts) in my life. I have met some inspiring new friends who ignite an auspicious fire within me. Who encourage and push me to aim higher with levity. The people who have been here all along inspire new love, encouragement and support. These loving gifts in my life ask hard questions so that I can cleanse the habitual patterns that no longer serve me and free myself from left over scar tissue of the past that bring about darkness. They give me water, enriched soil, sun and shade optimal for blooming. I continue to cultivate my practice over an extended period of time letting it unfold as it may and thoroughly enjoying the gifts it continues to shower.
What gifts are present in your life? What are you asking for? What seeds are you planting?
July 25, 2011
When Indifference Moves You to Action
Yoga Sutra I.14A
You must cultivate your practice over an extended period of time.
There are days cultivating my practice comes easy. Like waking up with the warm cozy feeling of a goodnight sleep. There are also days were this is hard like waking up feeling like you tossed and turned all night an surely the alarm DID not just sound. I feel like even more difficult than either of those is the days of indifference. The days where you wake up not feeling tired or rested. The days where your head is buzzing with thoughts but nothing gets resolved. The days where you chase your tail knowing you were VERY busy all day but what got done?
These are the days that the practice is the most important. Showing up for yourself and the mat and cultivating compassion and kindness. Loving the familiarity of poses in a sequence even if you have done them a million times or a few. Sun salutations for me are a familiar dance that help spark the heart and move past the indifference. Maybe I will only go through Surya Namasakar A five or so times - not thinking about the breath just moving. I find that my breath knows what to do and so I deepen it. Often times it leads me to other poses that I didn't think about just instinctually went to. All it takes is stepping onto the mat. Each and every time I step onto the mat it is a building block. It's a way to still the mind and move the body.
I must cultivate my practice over and extended period of time with patience, love and action. I must not ask if I will practice but when. Just as I would not ask myself if I was going to eat. I may have to decide when or what to eat but eating is a given - as is living yoga, cultivating my practice and well breathing...duh! Enjoy the journey of cultivating your practice and please leave a comment on how you accomplish this or what gets you to the mat when indifference or lack of drive knocks :). All love!
You must cultivate your practice over an extended period of time.
There are days cultivating my practice comes easy. Like waking up with the warm cozy feeling of a goodnight sleep. There are also days were this is hard like waking up feeling like you tossed and turned all night an surely the alarm DID not just sound. I feel like even more difficult than either of those is the days of indifference. The days where you wake up not feeling tired or rested. The days where your head is buzzing with thoughts but nothing gets resolved. The days where you chase your tail knowing you were VERY busy all day but what got done?
These are the days that the practice is the most important. Showing up for yourself and the mat and cultivating compassion and kindness. Loving the familiarity of poses in a sequence even if you have done them a million times or a few. Sun salutations for me are a familiar dance that help spark the heart and move past the indifference. Maybe I will only go through Surya Namasakar A five or so times - not thinking about the breath just moving. I find that my breath knows what to do and so I deepen it. Often times it leads me to other poses that I didn't think about just instinctually went to. All it takes is stepping onto the mat. Each and every time I step onto the mat it is a building block. It's a way to still the mind and move the body.
I must cultivate my practice over and extended period of time with patience, love and action. I must not ask if I will practice but when. Just as I would not ask myself if I was going to eat. I may have to decide when or what to eat but eating is a given - as is living yoga, cultivating my practice and well breathing...duh! Enjoy the journey of cultivating your practice and please leave a comment on how you accomplish this or what gets you to the mat when indifference or lack of drive knocks :). All love!
July 18, 2011
The DaRk Side
Do you get frustrated when your dark being escapes? Do everything you can to put it neatly back in a container on your mental shelf? Maybe your a closet snob. Maybe you have a temper that could burn a city. Maybe you let people step on you. Maybe you play the role of the victim too often? What if we looked at it from the perspective of...whatever you feel like hiding is probably what inspires the brightest light. What if we looked at the dark side as a teacher, guider, love instigator? Would it change how you handle the darkness? Is it possible to examine our "faults" (for lack of a better word) the same as as we triumph a job well done. What if we looked at our internal dark beings as a growth opportunity, a celebration of who we are and the understanding that it is all part of our path / journey. I sometimes loose it with my children instead of coming from a place of curiosity, I snap at my husband, I am not always patient, I can be a snob, judgmental, and even rude to the people I love most. I want to be able to embrace the dark side as a gauge of how far I have come. To honor that I am able to be present enough to see that it is dark and to understand the importance of balance. I am not saying to idealize all that is bad and to grant yourself permission to behave in ways that are dark or hurtful. I am however saying that we all have a dark side. If we use our energy to constantly try and hide or squash it does it then consume us?
My dark being on the mat is the perfectionist, the ego self wanting to have everything look and feel exactly right, the judge who says I can't, the comparer of others that leads to "i suck", and the joyless striver. My work on the mat will involve the non-judgemental observer, flowing from a state grace, leading with my heart and being aware of attitude in all that I do. Oh and to tell myself I am a magnificent being both in the dark and in the light.
How will you embrace the dark?
My dark being on the mat is the perfectionist, the ego self wanting to have everything look and feel exactly right, the judge who says I can't, the comparer of others that leads to "i suck", and the joyless striver. My work on the mat will involve the non-judgemental observer, flowing from a state grace, leading with my heart and being aware of attitude in all that I do. Oh and to tell myself I am a magnificent being both in the dark and in the light.
How will you embrace the dark?
July 15, 2011
Re-SET
I have to say that I have had a challenging week with technology. I have tried to post a couple different times this week and have lost everything. If it is not my internet connection it's my server or my smart phone. So I unplugged everything. Literally gave technology a night off. I re-plugged everything back in and voila! I think everything is back to working. I remember reading a blog post by a friend of mine with a similar dialogue. Her rebooting experience also left her to question her internal booting process. Thankfully (and I mean sooooooo much thanks to my parents) every summer my parents whisk my kiddos away allowing me to reboot. I always dread them leaving and miss them terribly while they are gone. With that said, I have really taken and opportunity this week to reboot / re-energize heck even re-enter the Austin scene. I have taken yoga classes with teachers I never get to practice with, had lunch with a dear friend, went on a date with my husband, enjoyed an afternoon with my sister, and sat on my tookish and read, oh I also only had to clean the house once this week because hello no kids means no mess! I swam laps, slept in and watched movies.
Insert randomness...I don't know about you but IT'S HOT! I mean stinkin hot. Yet I find myself feeling like I need to go go go do do do. What I need is cooling liquid, cooling foods, and cooling rebooting time. Done done and done! It has been an amazing week (minus the technology madness but even that contributed). I feel re-energized and like someone hit the re-set button.
Often times I forget the importance of quiet time, yoga time and overall me time. I get into a routine and let those things slip by. I feel so inspired getting to take yoga classes with the teacher I study with and yoga teacher friends and that doesn't even give justice to how my body feels after an hour and 1/2 + of community yoga everyday. Ahhhhhhhhh.
How do you reboot? How do you escape the heat and slow down? What inspires and awakens you after you reboot? All love and gratitude! Please leave a comment - I would love to hear from you :)...
Insert randomness...I don't know about you but IT'S HOT! I mean stinkin hot. Yet I find myself feeling like I need to go go go do do do. What I need is cooling liquid, cooling foods, and cooling rebooting time. Done done and done! It has been an amazing week (minus the technology madness but even that contributed). I feel re-energized and like someone hit the re-set button.
Often times I forget the importance of quiet time, yoga time and overall me time. I get into a routine and let those things slip by. I feel so inspired getting to take yoga classes with the teacher I study with and yoga teacher friends and that doesn't even give justice to how my body feels after an hour and 1/2 + of community yoga everyday. Ahhhhhhhhh.
How do you reboot? How do you escape the heat and slow down? What inspires and awakens you after you reboot? All love and gratitude! Please leave a comment - I would love to hear from you :)...
July 4, 2011
Free
I feel free when...? When I know the sound of the alarm is not what is going to wake me, when the calendar is a blank canvas, when my girls and I use that blank canvas to paint the day, when my husband and I are drinking coffee with nothing on the agenda, when I am on the mat doing inversions or heart openers, when I am swept away by the words of another, when I am fully present enjoying all that my life is. I could keep going on and on and on but I really want to know when you feel your free"ist"...
Happy Independence Day!
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." ~ Helen Keller
Happy Independence Day!
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." ~ Helen Keller
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