December 18, 2011
It is amazing how a split minute decision to NOT do something one time can snowball into weeks and weeks of not doing that something.
It starts off as an innocent criticism something you say to yourself that seems harmless. Then you start to feed that criticism maybe not a lot at first but it turns into a story you tell yourself. I enjoy writing. Putting my thoughts to paper and seeing where it leads me. However, I am also a recovering perfectionist (defining perfect as: without fault). I started blogging as a way to express myself, share and invoke the ideas of others. I wanted a place where people could feel safe to comment or to add to the discussion with there own wonderfully diverse thoughts. A place where not everyone agrees but where everyone has a love for discovery, encouragement and inspiration. Here is where the story begins. I told myself...self "this post seems all over the place - is any of this even worth mentioning?" At this point in the story I think I am being observant. In reality, I am feeding the story with help from past stories people have told me or I have told myself. An english teacher saying I was never going to be a writer. A parent always asking what I missed and how I could have done better? A sibling poking fun at something I wrote. Not to say these are not valid observations from these people - it's the choice to taint the statements with negative self talk. To add my own negative descriptors. Truly though, the stories we tell ourselves are important as they can propel us forward, paralyze us, or even stop us from moving in the direction of our higher aim.
True Story: I have not been writing because I let "the story" paralyze me create a block so profound that every time I opened the computer to write my fingers would not move. What stories do you tell yourself? How do you feed them? Can you add love and compassion to the story ultimately creating a shift in consciousness to propel you in the direction of your highest aim. Think about something you have wanted to do (a vision / higher aim / goal / intention). Bring awareness to "the story". What happens when you add love and compassion to the story. It may be that it takes weeks to root before you are able to stroke the key board and words start to appear. The freeing thing is you can choose how you pro-seed or de-seed (ok corny but seriously you are worth it!). I am all ears people...or eyes that is - let's write it out.
The story is i'm back :)...all love and compassionately infusing