March 30, 2012

Five Minute Friday....Eeeekkkkkkk

I'm trying something new and scary via my close friend's nudging.  Here's how it works...We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not (ummmm I'm pretty sure I have never not worried.HA!).
Want to play Five Minute Friday? It’s easy peasy!
1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the prompt- no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Meet & encourage someone who linked up before you.
OK, are you ready? Give us your best five minutes on:

I have been pretty disappointed with my behavior lately.  It seems when allergies hit an all time high my head gets foggy, I become tired and really just don't feel good.  What does that have to do with behavior you ask? I have begun to notice that I have no filter when I feel this way.  100% Michelle's thoughts are realized into the wild no matter who may be stung by the unleashing. It seems when allergies flare so does my bad attitude.  Its like the 'whoa is me' overrunneths the gratitude full of love true nature of my heart.  Now that I have observed this behavior I am working on ways to infuse more love maybe if I overcompensate with love then the bad attitude will have to take a back seat.  Either way it stinks for those who are closest to me and have been whipped.  To them I am truly sorry. 
The dialogue:
Self, I love you, I am truly sorry you do not feel well please know that I intend to do everything in my power to infuse optimal wellness and love into you so we can align more closely to our true natu
So I am a bit confused if you just end literally when the timer goes off so that is what I did :) minus this sentence :).

March 29, 2012

Happy Yet?

What makes you happy?

It sounds simple yet I struggle with the answer.  I once read, happy is not a destination it's a state of mind. I sometimes find myself using happy as a destination.  If I only had this or accomplish that or my kids act this way or all the stars align then and only then can I find happiness. Well folks happy is not a destination. So I observe.

I sat quietly with this question...what makes you happy? I was amazed at what came up.  It seems a whole lot makes me happy.  I think all to often we can cloud what makes us happy with should.  I should do this I should do that.  If you take should out of the equation what do you get? What about the situations that used to make you happy but that situation no longer does. It feels more like an obligation or a should?  How do you then weigh whether you should keep the situation as is?  I realize this post is more question than reflection - randomness is part of the title as my dear friend so kindly reminded me.

There you have it - I need your feedback, input answers...

March 20, 2012

A Day Early a Dollar Tossed


If you had to choose one habit to toss that does not align with your true nature what would it be? Spring is here a day early - something that hasn't happened since 1896!  When I read this it got me thinking about how things shift even if it is a century later.  Nothing is permanent. Yikes spring cleaning a day early :). I feel it is important to do some honest to goodness spring cleaning.  In all aspects of my life.  Cleaning out stuff in my house, mind, body and a whole slue of other areas. Don't even get me started on weeds.

Back to one habit to toss...ummm one try several.  Here's the deal though if you try to toss more than one habit especially if it is a doozy of a habit you may feel overwhelmed.  Of course you could compile a garbage bag of habits that are easy to toss and do not require a lot of attention.  However, I am talking about a habit that has lived its course and is stopping you from 1. aligning to your true nature and 2. not making room for what does serve you.  Hmmmmm. I still have several but that is beside the point.

Now that you have that habit in mind *observe* your mental chatter and doings with regard to the habit. You may have to write down your observations or have a ticker near. I have been known to use a rubber band.  Every time this habit makes an appearance you switch the rubber band to the right side of the wrist - it helps bring awareness to the amount of energy you are feeding the habit.  You thought I was going to tell you to pop yourself with it...ouch! One person throws a dollar outside every time the habit rears it's head (who knows maybe someone who really needs a dollar is blessed that day?).  Do what you have to do. I have noticed that I give a lot of time and energy to something that no longer serves me and literally gets in the way of what does. Dictionary words that describe habit: dependence, routine, trait! The reason you have probably had this habit for a long time is because its not easy to toss.  You have to make an effort, you have to practice, you have to care enough to want to rid yourself of it and even then it may stick around. It may make guest appearances.  This is where compassion and diligence enters the picture maybe even a dollar bill. Your worth it :)

I'd love to hear how spring cleaning is going for you... all love

March 19, 2012

When Autopilot Drives you to Bad Behavior

My children were sitting at the kitchen table painting, laughing, humming and really enjoying themselves.  My first instinct was I should get them more paint. Then deep awareness set in.  They don't need more paint they are doing just fine with the materials they have.  I was kind of stunned to be thinking that. How many times have I impulsively done something on autopilot? Am I really a more more more kind of person? Insert randomness (that is how my mind works people) I instantly began to think about learning to drive a stick shift.  There is so much involved. When driving I was forced to pay close attention especially on hills or I could roll back and hit someone (which by the way is how I got in my first accident). Another thought did my fear manifest that accident? I digress...  Now, all I do is get in the car and bam autopilot.  It scared me forging more thinking.  What else is on autopilot?  I did not like the answers.  When my children enjoy something I think we need more so they can prolong the enjoyment.  If I can't find a bed linen I must go an purchase a new set. If my dishes don't match perfectly I should buy a set that does. I realize that the autopilot response is to go and get (horrified).

There is a small problem - autopilot mentality does not work with my true nature.  I SO don't like a lot of stuff nor do I like to waste.  As I began to clean out the kids cabinet I noticed we have a plethora of stuff (paint included) that we don't use.  You see it takes a lot of effort to come up with creative ways to reuse and not buy.  At that very moment, I was grateful for the awareness of autopilot mentality syndrome.  It brought me great joy to step back, notice the behavior and think of ways I could re-route the behavior - to shift my consciousness.

Interestingly enough after noticing my thought patterns we were taken to see The Lorax which drove this point home a little more.  Sometimes in order to really shift your consciouness you need many (in my case a lot of many) different ways to soak up what you are trying to shift. If you haven't seen the movie it really makes a case for the way our society has become driven by profit and greed (in my opinion). I have a led a very fortunate life and am interested in teaching  my children that less is more.  How can I do that if my first impulse is to buy more?

In what ways are you shifting your consciousness? How do you remove yourself from autopilot?

Here's to less is more and I have all that I need :)...

March 12, 2012

Awwwww mom do I really have to practice to get gooder?

How can I be in relationship with my internal enemies defined as (but not limited to) delusion, anger inadequacy, fear...

When I became serious about yoga and all it entails I remember getting frustrated with the notion of "the answers are within you". I wanted answers to be handed to me - to be told what was right.  Now many many many years later coupled with many many many trainings I am finding that I have to do the work aka practice and observation.  I have to be accountable for my spiritual practice, my asana practice, my meditation practice, etc.  I am responsible for who I choose to teach, inspire and lead me.  I  cannot be passive when it comes to my own personal growth. I must practice and observe.  I must ask the hard questions. I must live, listen, explore, read, ask, fail, take chances and most importantly love.  I mustn't let myself off the hook for continuing to grow and align myself with teacher's (internal or external) who keep me practicing and observing. If the teacher's I choose to follow do not hold themselves accountable what example is that setting?  As a teacher I too have to tow the line and be accountable for my teachings.

Are you accountable for your personal growth?