January 23, 2012

When OooPs is Amplified...

Photo courtesy of Bennett Imagery

I am very thankful for this life.  The one that allows me to pursue my passion and choose how I view and dance with life - yet its not always easy.  This morning the unthinkable happened, I didn't show up to teach.  My worst professional nightmare realized.  Not only did I miss an engagement, it was one I had been so totally looking forward to.  An honor given to me a couple of months ago glittering my calendar like a rare jewel. A higher vision I threw out into the universe that actually beard fruit and I missed it.  There are so many feelings that came over me and believe me the tears were flowing (and I am not one who easily cries).  It seems I am human and needed to be reminded of this! I transcribed the wrong date (literally typed 24th instead of 23rd). I read the calendar wrong. It was scheduled so early in the morning I didn't catch the mistake.  It is my nature to double check (ok triple check) and yet when I typed it in the calendar It looked right.  Before I went to bed I checked the days events and thought I had a firm grasp on Monday's itinerary.  I juggle so many schedules with different time slots and different work locations that I live by my calendar.  It is my compass.  I have switched systems a couple of times because I rely so heavily on it and yet it's flawed as it relies on correct action taken by the inputer.  I am sharing this as I have been speaking lately about the quality of choice (and because I need to get it out). The ability to rise above our circumstances choosing how we are going to respond, interpret, and live our lives. However, I can't help but feel so horrible as I have inconvenienced and worried others.  I have taken an opportunity and tainted it.  I have...(I have to stop myself because I have the capacity to downward spiral forever and it aint pretty). I am more than grateful for the kindness and grace shown to me by the person who gave me the opportunity yet I feel a heaviness I can't seem to shake.

How do I shine light on stress and worry I have caused someone else? I have been cultivating compassion for myself and those around me.  This is what I have tried to focus on.  I have tried to view it as if the tied was turned and find *some* solace in that I would have understood the mistake had it been me who hired a teacher.  I can only move forward from here grateful that I have built a reputation on honesty, reliability, respect and showing up when scheduled!  Now the handwork of letting go and choosing to accept I am flawed, I will not always be perfect and I will indeed make mistakes.  Choosing to keep cultivating love and gratitude.  Sigh...

How do you choose to handle mistakes?  I would love to hear from you!

January 16, 2012

These are the Chapters of our lives...

Some things are embedded deep within the pschy.  These are the stories that come back over and over again.  I read somewhere (I am sorry to whom ever I am not giving credit to - I truly honor your words I have merely forgotten where I read them...ironic) you can't begin a new chapter if you're stuck re-reading past chapters (or something like that).  TRUE dat!  I, however, find myself re-reading chapters of a book I'm not particularly fond of.  I have the power to choose, as one of the most powerful human qualities according to Caroline Myss' book Sacred Contracts.  I have come a long way (deep breath and pause) and truly see that as a gift.  YeT, I get stuck in old roles and find myself frustrated when I can't break free from the confines of the old chapter.  I understand the chapter, I have lived and relived the chapter, I have analyzed the chapter, and now I desperately want to move forward to the next.  So this weekend, I did just that with the power of choice as my wings - I chose to move to the next chapter with abundance and love as my bifocals. I am impressed with how easy (using this word loosely) it was to choose abundance and love.  When I felt myself wanting to re-read I forged ahead and low and behold the new chapter is juicy, funny, more loving and a whole lot more interesting.

What character are you stuck playing?  How can you move to the next chapter?

January 9, 2012

My daughter's good friend gave this to me the last week in December on our trip to NM and I thought...how fitting!

Ask and you shall receive...

As 2011 passes, I enter 2012 feeling auspicious and delicious!  I have grown, loved and truly had a big bite of gratitude mixed with compassion for myself and those around me.  I have laughed, cried, healed and explored.  What sticks out most is the new found love and gratitude I have for myself.  If mama is happy everyone is happy...or something like that.  I looked back at my 2011 intentions and was pleased.  Almost too pleased.  I got a lot crossed off with a few stragglers.  Hmmmmmm.  The list started to seem safe to me.  It felt almost limiting in higher aim.  Not as a judgement but as an observation.  I am not being bold.  So you scratch down a bigger bolder intention on paper and don't achieve it.  Aren't goals suppose to be lofty.  Ask and you shall receive - right.  Well I have not been asking out of fear.  We all know what fear conjures - lack.  So here goes...I am aiming high with the confidence to go big.  I am no longer interested in playing small.  I am worth big.

In what ways have you limited your full potential?  In what ways have you not explored your boundaries that might lead to a much higher vision than you could have imagined.  Thank you 2011 for setting the stage and for the foresight to go there.

I have always found it interesting that public figures usually have a tour name.  Rock bands, motivational speakers and even yogi's.  It got me thinking about what my tour name would be (if I was into that sort of thing...HA) It would be Radiant Light - Balanced Bold Action. Ah yes, it's time to do!